Everything I Never Wanted to Learn About Economics: Part 1

What with a hurricane, an election, a change in light and time, and my learning how to do more complex things pertaining to my job, I’ve been overwhelmed.  My brain hurts mostly because I’m learning a lot about finance and economics. What I don’t learn at work I’ve picked up from reading the Business section of the NY Times or from watching just how much one hurricane can ruin a business (not to mention, you know, lives). So, without further ado:

Everything I Never Wanted to Learn About Economics

1.) Right now we’re in something called Q4, but what we’re really concerned about is making sales that will finalize in Q1 and kickstart the year that way. I don’t know yet what happens if financial goals are not realized, but I imagine it involves dangling CEOs over an alligator pit. Or molten lava, IDK.

2.) Lots of shit gets real in the Q1 of 2013 for individual human beings (to specify– not corporations, though they’re included as per uush) when a bunch of tax cuts expire. Let’s see what fun and games begins in Congress! And, also, this stuff reflects the belief that 200,000 dollars is some sort of middle American income. If that were true for me, then point #3 (see below) would not be an issue.

3.) Sallie Mae is evil, and no one’s doing anything about it.

4.) The show “Revenge”, while entertaining, clearly understands nothing about how a multinational tech corporation works. The CEO just hangs out with his best friend, plotting revenge with her all day long. At my job the VPs always stay late and have to commute to New Jersey– which has been rough, post hurricane Sandy. They just don’t have time for taking down WASP 1% families out in the Hamptons!

5.) Martha Stewart owns, like, 90% of the shares in her company. She has yet to cut down the salary she receives, even as her stock falls. The entire article was about her being in denial, which is funny, given all she’s been through. The whole sitch is just supremely awkward. But is there anything about Martha that can’t be made a little awkward?

Finally, I’ll end this post with a text my friend’s libertarian-minded dog sent me. Ignore typos, as he doesn’t have thumbs: