Let's have some awful time together!
Earlier this morning, my friend said to me, “Work has been good for you. It’s made you more grounded.”
“Yes,” I agreed.
I liked the idea of me as a grounded, functional human being. After all, I get up early in the mornings, I put on a blazer, I sometimes put make-up on to make it seem like I get more sleep than I do. Then, I walk to the subway listening to empowering Beyonce songs (CHECK MY CREDENTIALS) and really make the most of my morning commute by staring at other people who are reading Fifty Shades of Grey (DON’T HAVE TO ASK NO ONE TO HELP ME OUT).
Before I had a chance to really turn into a Totally Grounded Human Being, to run with it, to get that monogrammed onto a bathrobe or have it branded onto a director’s chair, my friend said, “It’s not interfacing well with your writing though.”
Deep sigh, because it’s true and something I’d hoped no one else would notice. Not only has this blog taken a backseat to my being Grounded, the creativity has been lacking. I guess the manic, frenetic, pathetic desire to be employed was the driving force behind this blog’s creativity. It turns out desperation is a scent more flamboyant and alluring than even Nicki’s:
Fortunately, at the first sign of my being a Totally Grounded Human Being, work decided to give me so much new responsibility that I just kept nodding my head and writing down notes on a notepad. I kept saying, “Absolutely.” And, “That makes sense.” Which isn’t to say “That makes sense” or “Absolutely” were empty gestures. They were just automatic at this point because if it doesn’t make sense, it absolutely better make sense soon. This is causing me to feel incredibly overwhelmed in a way that feels like desperation! Awesome! Let’s lasso that energy, Pecos Bill style, and make magic!
But that, too, shall pass.
See, the thing is, I don’t want all those people who didn’t hire me last year because I was too “creative” to gloat, cracking their knuckles and saying to someone dressed entirely in khaki, “This is why we hired you, Prudence.” Nor do I particularly want to be reformed into a business savvy woman who owns a pantsuit and who talks about Q4 with wanton abandon. But how does a Totally Grounded Human Being make sense of a creative life and a life that earns paychecks?
I need someone else to write a 5 page article on this for The Atlantic please, citing studies done at the University of Hard Knocks or whatever.